Friday, August 14, 2009

 
Possibly the stupidest cat song yet. Since I confessed my last stupid cat song there have been many, severely stupid songs, mostly adapted from pop songs.

My Name Is Graham (to the tune of 'My Name Is Prince') This is one of my favourites. I've never bothered to make up the rest of it because these four lines never fail to satisfy me with their utter inanity.

My name is Graham
And I am fluffy
When it comes to fluff
I am the puffy

Supersqueak (to the tune of 'Superfreak' by Rick James) This one I worked on while walking down to North from my house one day. I still remember giggling like a loon as I went past the library, having just come up with the "super-squeaky, MIAOW" bit.

He's a very fluffy cat
The kind that moults upon your sofa
And he will never leave your eiderdown
Once you get him off your feet
He likes the boys in the house
He says that I'm his all-time favourite
When he makes his move to my room it's the night time
He's never hard to please

That cat is pretty fluffy (that cat's a supersqueak)
The kind of cat you feed a lot (he poos on magazines)
That cat is pretty wild now (that cat's a supersqueak)
He's all right, he's all right
That cat's all right with me, hey-hey HEY!
He's a supersqueak, supersqueak, he's super-squeaky, MIAOW!

Puffy Tail (this one, composed after a deadline-busting all-nighter fuelled by maternal energy drink, is more like freeform poetry)

Puffy tail
Puff! puff!
Puffy tail
Puff! puff!

Graham (to the tune of 'Fame' by David Bowie) My main pleasure with this one is repeatedly singing the cat's name and pretending to add those weird distortion effects that Bowie uses in this song.

Graham! likes to sit on my pillow
Graham! he's a very fluffy fellow
Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham
Graham
What's your name?

and finally, the dumbest of all, which I devised this morning:

Jingle-Jangle Pusscat (to the tune of 'Dingle Dangle Scarecrow')

When all the house was sleeping
And the Mel had gone to bed
Up! jumped the pusscat
And this is what he said:
I'm a jingle-jangle pusscat
I'm a fluffy, fluffy cat
I can drink your tea like this:



I can bite your thumb like that:


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