Tuesday, September 27, 2011

 
Supermarket musings. Today I went to the supermarket – which I've always loved to do since I was a kid. I can go into a trance there, pondering all the things I could buy.

The other day I went there for dry cat food. This is always an irritating product for me to buy, because I refuse to buy the expensive sort that comes in small foil bags; Graham only gets the good-value 1kg cardboard boxes.

I feel it's important not to spoil a cat with fancy foods because then they'll refuse to eat anything else in future. For instance, Graham's favourite food ever is the super-expensive prescription dental diet you have to get from the vet. But after the sample packet ran out… bad luck Graham, it was back to Whiskas.

He will eat the basic Coles and Woolworths cat foods (not the povvo Home Brand ones, but the slightly more upmarket ones with colourful packets) but he always seems disappointed when all his frantic mewling results only in a bowlful of brown pellets. But he'll eat them eventually. Maybe it's because Coles gave them a real meat injection…



As for Whiskas, he loathes the 'Vita-Bites' that are the pride of Whiskas's dry cat food technology. They are these little square lozenges. He will eat all the other pieces and leave these ones behind in his bowl, and once I spotted Graham using his paw to flick them from his bowl onto the floor. So I am not about to waste my money on a brand that lets my cat engage in this kind of irritating behaviour.

But I do think Graham is more likely to eat the food when it's visually interesting, with different shaped and coloured pieces rather than just kibble. However the only other brand that does this is Friskies, and the pack is too tall to fit on my shelf. This irritates me immensely.

So the other day I decided to divorce the brand issue from the storage issue by purchasing one of those plastic 'cereal saver' containers, and I poured the Friskies and the Coles in there together and shook them up to make CAT MUESLI.

Honestly, this feels like the best idea I've had in ages. CAT MUESLI.

Also, I would like to complain about how expensive Vegemite is. You will realise that Vegemite is a cornerstone of my Freelance Diet. So why does it cost like $8.50 for the largest size (best value) jar? We all know it is basically just brewery scrapings!

The infuriating thing is that no other yeast spread on the market tastes like Vegemite – I don't like the way the other ones taste. Maybe I might like Mighty Mite, but that's a mighty big 'might'. It only comes in the one size and there is no sample or trial size.

They need to encourage sampling in order to lure consumers who are tired of paying big bucks for Vegemite. Honestly I am not that fussed with Vegemite's no longer being Australian-owned as long as it continues to taste the way I like, but I resent having to pay so much in what is essentially a monopoly market. Even the Coles website lists this product category as "Vegemite and yeast spreads".

Hopeless! I just called up Three Threes Condiments, which makes Mighty Mite, to suggest that they offer product samples, and they are not answering either their 1800 number or their office number. Okay, I realise it is 4:57pm, but COME ON!

Other supermarket products that have used up too much of my valuable brainpower this week:

Curry in a can! I noticed in the Asian food section they have laksas and various Asian curries in cans. I wonder if they are like Japanese curry, which is basically just a solidified stock cube that you dissolve in your pan – that is, that these generic products are used in most of the cheap Asian restaurants where I'm used to eating laksas.

Nivea Invisible Black and White deodorant: I saw this advertised on TV and thought, "Wow, I must buy that product!" I wear a lot of black clothing and in the past have suffered from the dreaded 'white marks', so I use Nivea's pre-existing Invisible deodorant. Now there's a version that supposedly also prevents 'yellow marks' on pale clothing. I am definitely going to give it a go.

U by Kotex tampons: I first bought these at a chemist in a desperate moment. They wouldn't have been my choice as I see them as a 'teen' brand, however they're now my favourite brand because they come in colourful individual wrappers that undo with a snap twist. Honestly, it takes something as pitifully small as this to earn my consumer loyalty.

I never keep track of how many boxes of tampons I own – I figure it's better to have too many than too few, amirite ladies? – so when I was doing my usual vague, unnecessary purchase today I noticed a diagram on the packet of a tampon with a blue band around the end closest to the string, with the label "Last line of defence".

This struck me as hilarious. That dastardly blood has almost broken through the tampon's valiant defences, but wait – it's foiled by some mythically absorbent bit on the end of the tampon! "Noooo…" gurgles the blood, "Nooo, you've trapped meeee, what a world, what a world…"

Truly we live in bounteous times.

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