Saturday, March 27, 2004

Love haiku. Last night at Emma's party, me and a bunch of my fellow English Department postgrads were drunkenly sitting about talking about haiku - like you do! See, this one friend of Emma's, Heff, had done a great haiku one morning as a note to Emma when he'd crashed on her couch. This (if I remember correctly) is how it went:

I waited for cakes
Of the pan variety
None came, so I'm gone.

Then George came up with a haiku so good that I was convinced he'd read it somewhere:

I am Maximus
I swam in a cold ocean
Now I'm Minimus

Ben was totally trashed; I don't think I've ever seen him quite so drunk. He was talking very loudly and swearing a lot, and revealing just how much of a nerd he really is, despite his schmick clothes (like, talking about fantasy fiction and obscure Japanese video games). Anyway, this was the haiku he and Heff had come up with:

Gandalf, a wizard
Will come and kick your arses
So fuck you all, fucks.

Oh Ben. This is the guy who had never heard Madonna's version of "Like A Virgin" and so said if he went to karaoke he would have to do the campy OTT version from Moulin Rouge, an image that made me laugh spontaneously for days.

Ben was also telling a poignant story about how, back in high school, he'd tried to win over a girl by writing love haiku to her. But in the end, she went for a guy whose opening line to her was "So, do you like getting fingered?" We all laughed, of course, but being English postgrads, it came out that a number of us had written highbrow teenage love poetry - Martin had written a girl a sonnet. I wrote sonnets, too, which fortunately I've lost, cos I'm sure they were really bad and I'd want to destroy them anyway.

Made me toy with the idea of writing love haiku to The Boy. Feel free to give me some ideas...

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