Saturday, March 20, 2004
The Pleasurable Art of Tipsy-Shopping. Sometimes (usually when hungover) I chastise myself for drinking too much and promise to lead a clean and virtuous life where I exercise a lot, eat properly, get up earlier and drink less. This doesn't ever last long, and I always find myself on the piss again the next night. But just recently, I've discovered a fun new thing to do after having a few drinks - going shopping!
Friday nights are the best time to do this, because I've usually started at 5pm with a few beers at the Deep Shit, followed by more somewhere else, and the shops are open til 9. So far I have made two tipsy-shopping excursions, and here is what I bought:
Tipsy-Shopping Excursion One
One pair black and white striped legwarmers with silver lurex thread in the black bits
One pink belt studded with press-studs (so the belt does up by pressing the studs together)
Two pairs of underpants (one red, one hot pink)
One pair black patent hooker heels (actually, I only tried them on, then went back the next day sober to confirm my judgement. And Mel was pleased with what she saw.)
Tipsy-Shopping Excursion Two (last night)
One hot pink three-tier ra-ra mini-skirt
One hot pink long-sleeved t-shirt with a huge "M" on front, spelled out in silver studs
One black punk belt with three rows of faceted studs (genuine leather! $6!!! Score!!)
I bought the first two things from Deborah K, which since the closure of Studio Girl (Cheapest Price In Town!) has become my favourite El Cheapo Slutto shop in Melbourne. And the belt I got from knock-off perfume and accessory specialists, Carrington Jewellers, at the Bronx End of Swanston St, home of the droning pre-recorded PA announcement ("Carrington Jewellers is on sale Melbourne, if you like Gucci, Fendi, Prada-style watches, come and check out our watches...") Carrington Jewellers is also the source of my $5 flat cap and $25 bag.
Anyway, I highly recommend tipsy-shopping. Shop assistants suddenly become your best friends, your body becomes the last word in sexiness, you're no longer paralysed by burning questions like "Do I need this?" and "Can I afford this?" Do it all you can, people.
Friday nights are the best time to do this, because I've usually started at 5pm with a few beers at the Deep Shit, followed by more somewhere else, and the shops are open til 9. So far I have made two tipsy-shopping excursions, and here is what I bought:
Tipsy-Shopping Excursion One
One pair black and white striped legwarmers with silver lurex thread in the black bits
One pink belt studded with press-studs (so the belt does up by pressing the studs together)
Two pairs of underpants (one red, one hot pink)
One pair black patent hooker heels (actually, I only tried them on, then went back the next day sober to confirm my judgement. And Mel was pleased with what she saw.)
Tipsy-Shopping Excursion Two (last night)
One hot pink three-tier ra-ra mini-skirt
One hot pink long-sleeved t-shirt with a huge "M" on front, spelled out in silver studs
One black punk belt with three rows of faceted studs (genuine leather! $6!!! Score!!)
I bought the first two things from Deborah K, which since the closure of Studio Girl (Cheapest Price In Town!) has become my favourite El Cheapo Slutto shop in Melbourne. And the belt I got from knock-off perfume and accessory specialists, Carrington Jewellers, at the Bronx End of Swanston St, home of the droning pre-recorded PA announcement ("Carrington Jewellers is on sale Melbourne, if you like Gucci, Fendi, Prada-style watches, come and check out our watches...") Carrington Jewellers is also the source of my $5 flat cap and $25 bag.
Anyway, I highly recommend tipsy-shopping. Shop assistants suddenly become your best friends, your body becomes the last word in sexiness, you're no longer paralysed by burning questions like "Do I need this?" and "Can I afford this?" Do it all you can, people.
