Friday, March 26, 2004

She got that boom boom. I've been listening to Britney Spears' latest, In the Zone, on the strength of "Outrageous" and "Toxic", which have both spent a lot of time in my head. When it first came out, I was put off by the fact that "Me Against the Music" blows the big one - I get so embarrassed listening to Britney and Madonna's highly intellectual panting conversation: "Are you ready?" "Yeah."

So far my favourite song on the CD is "(I Got That) Boom Boom", chiefly because of the Ying Yang Twins - I deeply loved their commitment to Christmas crunk on "Ho! Ho!" I like the one with the deep growly voice, and I also like the way they shout in unison a lot. For some reason I love the sound of lots of men shouting, especially when they go "Heyyyyyy...." and "Hohhhhh" - so you can imagine I always liked "Hip Hop Hooray"!! But back to Britney. She's singing saccharinely about having that boom boom, almost oblivious to those grubby Ying Yang Twins. And I like the banjo too - like Deep South bhangra.

My second favourite track is "Early Mornin'" because I can relate to passing out on couches and stumbling home in the early morning. If I ever brought anyone home (looking increasingly unlikely these days) I would play them that song. (Oh, who am I kidding, I would probably play "Loose Lips" by Seiji and Lyric L and show them how I shake my arse.) And there's one bit in that song where Britney sounds like Pink, just one line towards the end. It's like in Jamelia's "Superstar", when she gets to the repeat choruses I reckon she sounds like J.Lo, especially on "oo" sounds. Is it just these auto-tuning machines they process everyone through?

Of course I still like "Toxic" and "Outrageous". And "Brave New Girl" sounds so much like a rip-off of Madonna's "Material Girl", it must be deliberate. But - I am almost as embarrassed to listen to "Touch of My Hand" as to that afore-mentioned Madonna atrocity. The lyrics go: "Another day without a lover/The more I come to understand the touch of my hand". Now, I don't mind people singing about masturbation, but it can be done well and poorly. Divinyls "I Touch Myself" - Good. Frankie Goes to Hollywood "Relax" - Good. Britney "Touch of My Hand" - Bad Bad Bad. It's so coy and yet desperate. Now, if you want desperate masturbation songs, you can't go past JC Chasez "Come to Me": "Cos when I'm all alone I lay awake and masturbate." Tell it like it is, JC.

Oh, and apparently Janet Jackson's latest album is full of enough sex references to make her whole family blush. I read a really bad review of it in the Hez yesterday, but I don't know if I trust Cameron Adams' opinion. Cos he was bagging her last album, and I really liked "All For You", which was one of the homie hits I used to dance to at Charlton's between numbers - "Nice package all right/Guess I'm gonna have to ride it tonight." Sigh, if you feel you must, Janet.

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