Thursday, April 01, 2004

Foolishness. I just realised today is April Fool's Day. I've been so fucking overwrought by the dramas of moving house, which still aren't over. Apparently I forgot some food in the cupboard in my panic, and now I have to get the key back from the agent so I can collect it. Oh, and re-mop the floor, which wasn't clean enough. To think I bothered to wipe the skirting boards!

Here are some other lowlights of the House Drama…
- new housemates go out on Tuesday night and forget to leave key out for me
- one of my new housemates didn't know I was moving in until I called her looking for a house key; she'd been thinking about finding a new house cos their agent is fucking them around
- the old housemate hasn't even moved all his stuff out on the day they said he would
- At 10:40pm that night, having unloaded the majority of my stuff, I get a text message saying "Mel, stop! Do not proceed any further - there are problems with the lease"
- I get told by my now-ex-housemate that when it comes to bond, "our heads are on the chopping block" because my best friend's birthday party is the same night as the arbitrarily decided-upon Wednesday Cleaning Night and I say I can't clean that night
- At 7pm last night I get told that the carpet steam cleaners will be arriving at 7:30am today. My bed and some boxes are still in my room
- I get home from Penny's party at 1am and they have thrown away all my toiletries. No contact lens cases or solution; no shampoo; no toothbrush; not even the fucking shower curtain. After fruitlessly rummaging through bins in satin frock and hooker heels (charming image, I'm sure!) I send an enraged text message to ex-housemates saying "I hope you're not punishing me"
- I get up today at 6am with gritty contact lens eyes and shower crouched against the wall like a movie parody of a rape victim to avoid splashing the entire bathroom
- Heroically I manage to get everything out in time for the cleaners and even clean up the backyard an hour before the 11am house inspection. I return keys to agent. Housemate calls up about the food in the pantry (guess I assumed they threw that away, too) and the re-mopping

I have to get the key back, re-mop, and return the key, all before 5pm today. Better get cracking. I also have to back up all the stuff on my uni office computer (like emails proving delinquency on my supervisor's part in case I fail my thesis) and clear out all my books etc, because I have to move out of there too, by tomorrow. It is all so very very foolish. How appropriate for today.

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