Thursday, April 08, 2004

Ways to stare into space. Yesterday I was in my old office, reading The Tipping Point, which I found really exciting but that's a whole nother post, when I noticed that Gemma was just staring into space. I said "Do you stare into space often?" She said "Yeah, a lot." And we got into a discussion of the different kinds of thinking we do while staring into space.

Mulling. This is when you have a logistical problem, like what you're going to wear to a theme party, or how to fit all the things you have to do into one day, or how to phrase that letter or story you were writing. You turn it over in your mind and try to find new ways of approaching the problem.

Brooding. This is when you think about issues in your life without really working out what to do about them. Nostalgia is a subset of brooding. So is imagining the lonely celibate years that stretch before you, filled with cats and poverty and bottles of vodka.

Fuming. Impotent rage. Last year I made a conscious effort to stop thinking in this way and change my conviction that rage was a positive and invigorating emotion. I stuck little notes on my bedroom mirror and my computer monitor that said "Rage demeans and weakens me." But still, I've been doing a lot of this lately, thinking about Kliger Wood Real Estate. Also about how much better my life would have turned out if I'd gone to proper university as an undergrad instead of RMIT.

Scheming. This is when you're plotting something. I usually scheme about my latest crazy plan, or alternatively how I can bring down my enemies. Usually bringing down my enemies involves a crazy plan. There is a strong fantasy component to my scheming.

Daydreaming. Benign, generally happy and amusing thoughts. This includes fantasies about repeatedly jumping on ugly ugly hats, thoughts about lying in the warm grass on an autumn day, and lovesick thoughts about what a great person your crush is, as opposed to mulling over how to approach the crush, scheming about seducing them or fuming that they don't realise you are perfect for them.

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