Thursday, May 06, 2004

My fashion crisis. I am having a fashion crisis, which recurs again and again every few months. Basically, it is that I dress too conservatively, and need to dress "crazier". It makes me laugh that Shane is having the opposite crisis - of being worried he dresses too crazily, and trying to tone it down. He should take tips from me.

On Monday I thought I was pretty cool. You see, I'd been at my parents' house on the weekend and my mother had given me three pairs of fluorescent nylon socks: pink, orange and green. She said "Would you like these?" and I was like, "Wow, my mum has finally learnt how to shop!" but then it turned out she had just cleaned out her cupboard and these socks had been there since the 80s. She'd actually bought them for me with the intention of doling them out over birthdays or as special "treats" when I was good. And when she said that, I realised that she had actually given me an identical yellow pair, which were like my favourite socks in grade six. I wore them to the grade six disco with my tropical-print ra-ra skirt and my hair in a sideways ponytail. (The goodwill generated by this gesture evaporated when my mother asked if I had consulted a doctor yet about fat and hairy disease.)

Anyway, I wore the pink ones on Monday. But then I started having this crisis when I was at Gemma's house watching Sex and the City, and we were looking at that book Fruits about Japanese street style. I was just so inspired by the clothes they were wearing - not just the overall look of them, but how differently they put together outfits than I do. So I tried to dress more crazily for the rest of the week, but it didn't really work. Yesterday I had the tragic realisation that I was dressed like Lynda Day out of Press Gang, which my workmates insisted was not a bad thing. And then today I was looking at the liner of the Scissor Sisters album, and I was metaphorically punched in the face by how cool they were all dressed.

When you see pictures of someone dressed in a cool way, in magazines etc, you think how easy it is to do the same thing or better yourself, but I just can't nail it. For example, I usually base my outfits around a featured garment or accessory, which I'll have decided in advance I'm going to wear. And then I make the rest of the outfit muted or contrasting so it highlights the feature garment. But a lot of these Japanese people were thinking of an entire colour scheme, and shitloads of layered accessories. So it's a total effect instead, and it looks much "crazier". I also wear a lot of black, which frustrates me cos it looks so Melbourne and so conservative. I've been trying to get around this by wearing more denim, but I'm terrified of the double denim look, also I am a grub and got food on my favourite denim skirt and have been too lazy to wash it yet.

What also frustrates me is that I own a lot of tailored, plain clothes instead of crazy wacky logos or prints or cuts. Since Christmas I've been trying to accumulate more crazy clothes, but also being fat, I feel I can't get away with the really insane stuff I long to wear. If it were up to me, I'd get about in miniskirts or hotpants with coloured tights and frilly ankle socks and stilettos, but I am so conscious of looking stupid, also tights fucking bisect me at the waist. I would also wear more hats, but I'm afraid I would look stupid.

Here is what I have worn since the fluoro sock revelation of Sunday:

Black pants, short at the ankles to display
Pink fluoro socks
Black mary-jane shoes
Black t-shirt with "Collingwood Boxing Club" on front in white
Black silver-studded belt
Black cardigan
White parka with furry hood

Black 3/4 sleeve, scoop-neck top
Black cardigan
Black accordion-pleat miniskirt
Black silver-studded belt
Wide-mesh fishnet tights
Golden-brown boots (wide-legged, just above ankle) with Cuban heel and 80s snub-pointed toe
White parka

Black 3/4 sleeve, scoop-neck top
Black cardigan
Red ra-ra miniskirt
Black silver-studded belt
Black opaque 3/4 tights
Green fluoro socks
Black mary-jane flats
Houndstooth 3/4 coat with black velvet collar
Red metal hoop earrings

later that night...
Same black tights
Same red miniskirt
Same red earrings
Same shoes
Same coat
Black and aqua leaf-print top with puffed 3/4 sleeves and side waist sash
Red lipstick

Pale pink t-shirt, under
Ruched black off-the-shoulder chiffon peasant top
Same black pants as Monday
Pale pink silver-studded belt
Silver round earrings with hole-punch detail
Black patent hooker heels
Pink suede 3/4 length coat

I feel so conservative today, I might as well go and work in an office. I felt particularly bad earlier when Daniel insisted on trying on my coat and my shoes (tragically, he has the same size feet as me) and went prancing along the corridor like a drag parody of me, singing "She Bangs". If you happen to read this before 6:30pm today (Thursday) and you're in Melbourne with nothing better to do, come along and check out my outfit at the launch of antiTHESIS, the postgrad journal I've been stupidly involved in editing. It's at Readings Carlton on Lygon Street. There will be free food and alcohol. Even though I have a head cold at the moment, I'll be on the piss.

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