Sunday, June 06, 2004

Am I right to be suspicious of my brother? I have three younger brothers, and have experienced most of what being an elder sister has to offer: defending my belongings from graffiti artistry (just today I was unpacking some old computer disks and noticed that one had been creatively changed from "Mel's Disk" to "Mel's Dick"), having my teenage short stories plagiarised years later as their English assignments, enduring spitballs, chinese burns and other pranks. On the plus side, I terrified Matt by telling him a story about "the ghost of the goose"; and when me, my brother miT and my cousins were playing Commonwealth Games in 1986, we all got to be England, Canada, Australia, etc, but we made miT be a Fijian athlete called Lim Bongzart who never won anything.

But anyway. Today my brother Lina (real name: Lachlan) asked me if I wanted some milkshake. This seemed like such a misplaced generosity that I was immediately suspicious that he was going to spit in it or something. But it was actually very delicious, containing lots of chocolate icecream. I asked Lina if it would bring all the boys to the yard. He scowled and said, "I hate that song."

And just now he's poked his head around the door and asked if I enjoyed the milkshake. Am I right to be suspicious that he put some "secret ingredient" in it? I read somewhere once that two kids accidentally killed their mum on April Fools' Day by lacing her hot chocolate with laxatives.

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