Thursday, November 18, 2004

Blogging is a pain in the neck. Literally. All this week I've had such a sore neck. It's a bitch when trying to parallel-park. It makes me feel tired and want to go to bed at 9pm. On Tuesday I was *this* close to setting a mobile phone reminder for 1am: "Check for meningococcal rash."

I think it comes from work: constantly hunching in front of a computer. I think my monitor sits too low and I have to bend my neck constantly. But then I seem to recall hearing that you're meant to look down at the monitor rather than straight ahead or up. I don't know. Over the years of working in computer-equipped hutches, my brain has become a mash of conflicting tidbits of ergonomics and I just don't know any more.

At one stage during my indenture in the market research industry, there was an OHS push and we all had to wipe down our headsets and keyboards with moist wipes at the start of shifts. I used to get about five colds a year; after that I would only get one or two. But the best part was we had photocopies of stretching exercises to do at our desks. These were from an incredibly lame book called Stretching. I've tried to find pictures online, but the best I can do is a page from the follow-up bestseller, Stretching in the Office, which reproduces some of the illustrations.

Because most people who work in market research are 'creative professionals' like artists, filmmakers, writers, actors, musicians etc, there was some really funny caption-writing and graffiti work. Take, for example, pictures 1, 3 and 6 on the page. There would be a caption like "Help! I need some deodorant!" Picture 2 would be something like "Okay, who put a ball of stickytape on my back?" Picture 5 would have something like "That's right, suck it goood!" or "My head is made of Play-Doh." Picture 7 would be "Please let this shift be over." And the cover from Stretching in the Office was also one of the pictures, which often had the caption "Hello boys!" Because these things were in every booth at work, there were quite a few variations.

Please feel free to come up with any alternatives. If you happened to work at FW with me and remember these diagrams, please add notes in the comment field. melC

Oh my neck. (My back, etc.) I have been having the most tantalising massage fantasies. (Hello, Google perverts.) Once I was tucking my bedsheet back on the side next to the wall where it had come undone, and the position of lying horizontally across my bed brought on a massage fantasy that was so relaxing that I actually fell asleep. I woke up with a glasses mark on the bridge of my nose. My neck massage fantasy involves me pulling my hair out of the way with one hand and bending my head in blissful submission while someone rubs my neck.

It would be great if someone could actually do this for me when we're out at some bar, cos then I could have a drink in my hand at the same time. Right now I can't imagine something better.

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