Thursday, January 27, 2005

More vintage mixtape action. The other day I finally cleaned out my car. This is a completely momentous act as I had been driving around with the boot and back seat crammed with crap since I moved house in April last year. One of my discoveries was a plastic bag full of cassette tapes, which I have been listening to nostalgically, alternately wincing and nodding sagely at my previous tastes in music. So, seeing as my post about Smash Hits 88 went down such a treat, I thought I would share with you some of the highlights from my early music compilation career.

Pump It Up 1990
Recorded by Mel off the radio and illustrated with a picture of a man wearing a hot pink jacket with lime green pants, and a woman wearing a lime green crop top and hot pink bike pants, Collette style. I used to own a pair of shiny neon pink lycra bike shorts in 1990 and would wear them as casual wear, thinking I was da shit!

SIDE 1: From Take 40 Australia with Barry Bissell
Show No Mercy - Mark Williams
U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer
Technotronic Megamix - Technotronic
Doing the Do - Betty Boo
Bust A Move - Young MC
Jukebox in Siberia - Skyhooks
Night and Day - U2
Groove Is in the Heart - Deee-Lite

SIDE 2: From American Top 40 with Shadoe Stevens
Cherry Pie - Warrant
I Can't Stop How I Feel - After 7
My Love Is a Fire - Donny Osmond
George Michael Megamix - George Michael
Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
(added in 1999) Drink My Bile (Lick It Up) - Piss, Shit & Vomit

I should note that Piss, Shit and Vomit was my abject concept band whose songs were all about bodily functions. "Drink My Bile" was a soul/funk song. It went:
You say that you don't want me no more
You stray, then threaten you'll walk out the door
You smile, lookin' oh so proud and so slick
This time, I think that I'm gonna be sick

Drink my bile, lick it up
Drink my bile from a vomit cup
Drink my bile, I'm gonna let you
Drink my bile, cos I'll never forget you baby

You were the sexiest man that I'd seen
With time, you took me places I'd never been
But now, you're tired of me and you wanna have her
You're the man I wanna throw up all over
I came up with the idea after musing that the Hottest 100 was dominated by novelty songs full of swearing and dick jokes. Think "When I Was a Sperm" or "Short Dick Man" or "Detachable Penis" or the Murmurs' "You Suck".

So I reasoned that Piss, Shit and Vomit would get a lot of airplay on Triple J. I spent a lot of 1999 working with this guy Michael McClintock, who I never see anymore, on recording the various tracks. We were about halfway through when we lost contact, so this half-finished tape recording of "Drink My Bile" is the only record I have of all that wasted creative energy.

The other tracks were:

"Ain't No Carrots (In My Spew)" - a pop-rap song a la "Bust A Move", with vomit SFX
"Love You Like a Loo Lolly" - melodic indie-pop: "I hate you, I love you, so why don't I piss on you?"
"Get It Out" - sounded a bit like Faith No More: "They're more likely to appreciate you now/When they have to wipe their faces clear of your phlegm"
"Skidmark Undies" - melodic indie-pop, inspired by a real-life pair of underpants found among the detritus of a party: "No-one can name them, and no-one can claim them/But whoever it was couldn't really aim them"

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