Tuesday, January 04, 2005

When do you start to feel, at home? A couple of nights ago I didn't get a very good night's sleep because I was tormented by a moist, rhythmic slapping noise that sounded for all the world like a guy masturbating. It sounded so loud I actually sat up to check if my bedroom door was open. It wasn't. (Oh boy, I'm so looking forward to checking the referral log now!)

I mentioned this in conversation yesterday because I was raving, yet again, about how funny Jason Mulgrew is, how much he eats and drinks, and how frequently he masturbates. Jeremy asked how often was considered frequent. We came to a consensus that it depends on how old you are and whether you're in a relationship.

Then we got to the etiquette of wanking when you're staying at someone else's place. Personally I would never dare do this. I would feel like John Safran at that priest's house. But Penny said she would feel enough at home after a few days. This was particularly amusing because Penny has a house guest right now. We sketched an amusing mental picture of Penny, the other night, realising her guest needed an extra sheet, and creeping along the corridor, pausing outside the spare room going tentatively, "Bud...?" and hearing a little voice within saying guardedly, "Yes...?"

I am interested to hear other people's opinions. God I feel like Carrie Bradshaw right now, especially because I am wearing a t-shirt that says "New York" and have wonderful tomato-red nail polish on. But as the camera zooms in to my computer screen, I couldn't help but wonder: when friends invite you to come and stay, do you stay and come?

(Man, they totally should have had that on the show!)

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