Sunday, February 06, 2005

And they called it chubby love. Last night I was catching up on the first episodes of Lost and Desperate Housewives. I was particularly excited about Lost because finally someone has made a TV show about my public transport game, Armageddon Tram. But anyway, it's another creation of J J Abrams, who also dreamed up Felicity and Alias. As a longtime fan of the former in its late-night study-procrastination incarnation, I was very excited to see that in a cameo role as the ill-fated pilot was Greg Grunberg, who played Sean and is also in Alias, that other shithouse show that I file next to Buffy and Angel as "Shithouse Shows I Loathe with a Passion and Wish Were Never Made and it Really Pains Me When Cool People Like Them."

See, I always had a soft spot for Sean in Felicity (although not as much as Noel). He had the Mark Ruffalo Effect - the guy who has a good heart but never really succeeds and is always the second fiddle to his hero buddy. I would class Grunberg as similar to Jon Favreau. Then I started thinking to myself, "Both of these guys are a bit chubby. I wonder if that is a coincidence." Then I thought back to a few weeks ago when I was hanging out at Tash's work as a Myer commercial was filmed outside in Little Collins St, and I took a fancy to one of the crew who was kind of plump and friendly-looking, and I was telling Tash and her workmates that he reminded me of Sean Astin in Lord of the Rings. Then I realised that of the Fab Five from the crappy Australian version of Queer Eye, my instinctive favourite was the fat one with the glasses.

And then I started to become numb with horror as it dawned on me. "Oh my god! I am a chubby chaser!"

Cue The Crying Game theme and me sobbing under the shower, moaning "And he said: 'anyone want this last donut?' And 'oh my god this lasagne is to die for!'"

I mean, I'm totally not into guys who are morbidly obese (although I'll make an exception for Jason Mulgrew. Jason, you know I heart you 4 eva.). But for some reason, there is something cute about a guy who's carrying a bit of extra weight. Still, I wonder what this strange attraction says about me. Is it like that offensive cliche about fat chicks, that they 'try harder' (or as they say in Sideways, are "the grateful type")? Are chubby men more approachable? Or are they 'adorable' and teddybear-like?

In conclusion: to my skinny boyz: You don't have to stack it on - I'll still love youse. And to my chubby male friends: Please don't freak. I'm not secretly checking you out. OR AM I???? Bwah-ha-ha-ha!

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