Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Unemployment: Day One. Last night, I told Virginia that I was beginning to feel maudlin. She replied that I ought to feel angry instead. Right now, I can't really summon the required anger. I am mainly thinking how life at work is going to proceed without me much as it did before. Perhaps they'll even be relieved that I'm gone - me and my stupid puns and constant enquiries about whether you would call your child this or that, and whether this or that situation is ironic.

I have mentioned before that I resented being the office buffoon; but it's a role I always slip into when I'm comfortable in a particular environment. I feel torn between two conflicting impulses - my desire to be taken seriously as an intellectual, and my desire to share with others the absurd things that delight me.

I ate some two-day-old pizza and swigged Solo from a 1.25L bottle. I did some laundry. My sheets are the same blue as the sky.

Feel ... strength ... returning ...

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