Monday, July 04, 2005


"Eat my booger, doggie!"
Last night Jeremy was in fine form. We were in the 7-11 and he said that Cherry Ripe is changing their package design, which disappointed him because he has always liked the way the man in the picture seems to be picking his nose and offering it to his dog. (While beating him with a stick, I observe.) This made me laugh a lot.

But Jeremy wasn't finished there. When asked what culture he embodied, he declared, "I've got the streets in me, honey!" He then proceeded to tell a story about how, growing up on the mean streets of Brooklyn, he was once hit in the head with a frozen egg. "I felt this pain in the side of my head and when I touched it, it felt wet and sticky, and I looked at my fingers and there was blood on them, and I thought, 'My god, I've been shot!'" Basically, the frozen shell had broken Jeremy's skin, but the rest of the ooze was the yolk. Jeremy quickly revised his attack: "My god, I've been yolked!"

This precipitated a hilarious tangent on drive-by eggings. Among the things said by Jeremy, while we cried with laughter, were:
"This is some free-range shit, baby!"
"Don't give me none of those white eggs - I'm all about the brown."
"When I say scramble, you better beat it!"
"Don't make me get Humpty Dumpty on yo' ass!"

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