Sunday, August 21, 2005

Feeling unaccountably angry. The last time I felt this way, I walked past a woman having coffee with a friend and she laughed this horrible braying laugh, and I wanted to stop and yell at her, "That is the worst laugh I've ever heard! Shut up! Shut up!" But it turned out I was premenstrual that time. I am not now.

I want to be comforted and I want to be challenged. I want to provoke and I want to inspire. I want to be fucked and I want to be adored. I want to pack ideas and achievements into my day, and I want to waste it all reading and idling in cafes. This all seems impossible to combine. It disillusions me.

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