Monday, March 06, 2006

Helmets for Hipsters: a valuable community service project. Yeah, so things have been a little quiet here lately. Sadly, this does not signify that I have got me a life. No, no. (Sardonic laugh.) It's rather the opposite: I have recently experienced an explosion in blogging at various other locations. In particular, I am now ready to unveil a deliriously grand scheme that will make you all glad that finally I am using my powers for good.

You see, the best cycling years of my life were marred by the onset of compulsory helmet laws, and as a result I am pretty damn sick of seeing hip young cyclists rolling helmetlessly through the hood without a care in the world. I want to shout, “Forgotten something? Something compulsory? Huh? Huh?” The only reason I don't is that I am afraid they'll crash into something. The last thing I need is another hipster slaying on my conscience; not after that time in the alley behind Ding Dong...

Being a proactive person, particularly one given to following through on throwaway lines, I realised that I could not stand idly by and watch the inevitable collision between cold, hard concrete and the carefree irony of the next creative generation. Hipsters provide me with many hours of cathartic rage and academic curiosity. Much as it would make their eyeballs roll about like be-kohled marbles to acknowledge it, I am their guardian angel. And it is my mission to keep them safe to pout another day, if only to stabilise rents in the inner suburbs.

Thus, I have started yet another blog in the name of community service. It's called Helmets for Hipsters. Please check it out now. Tell your friends. And god help me, I have even got myself a MySpace. Do you know what that cost me? I am deeply suspicious of that site, and now I am on there as Nerdy No-Friends for all the world to mock (admittedly, with a picture taken while I was very drunk). So if you have a MySpace please befriend me. Do it for the kids with no helmets. Cos when your head goes smack, it's wiggity-wiggity-wack.

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