Friday, March 31, 2006

Ideas for "wild" conversations with boys. This was officially the most awesome search term I had today. Although some of the others were pretty awesome too. They included "kidnapped basement gimps", "leonardo da vinci inventions spanner" and "how do bears look after its young". I wonder if Leonardo really did invent the spanner.

But it was the 'wild' conversations with boys that intrigued me. I really hope this person is not looking for ways to titillate strangers on MSN with tales of their sexual antics. (If you want some tips for how to go about that - or rather, how not to go about it, go here and read the comments.)

So, perhaps there is some other kind of 'wildness' to be had in conversations with boys. I would like to workshop what that might be, because people often find my conversational gambits confronting when I am not even trying to be wild. Please leave your suggestions for 'wild' conversations in the comments, where I will rate them out of 10 on the patented* Wild Young Under-Whimsy Wild-O-Meter.

I really do like talking to boys about boobies, because everyone loves 'em, and I could discuss them for hours. Last year I talked to lots of people about how they would feel up a woman, which is a very important social science research project I think you'll agree. Maybe that's wild.

Or perhaps you could discuss with boys what might happen in an apocalyptic situation in which everyone ran wild. Or who would win out of a shark and a crocodile.

Or perhaps you could tell boys that you were totally Beyonce for them. I made up this expression in an email I just sent to Chris. Obviously it refers to "Crazy in Love". I hope it will be the next sweeping trend in vernacular discourse and I expect to hear you all using it from now on. I know I will. But anyway, I am not a big believer in confessing crushes to the object of the crush. It's not cathartic. It just brings on the inevitable "I really like and respect you ... as a friend". This is a really lame and embarrassing thing to have to say, too, because everyone knows it's all bullshit. So I'm all for not having to run through the routine at all.

Natalya is an advocate of the Ron Burgundy? school of thought. She thinks it's hilarious to add unexpected upward inflections at the ends of your sentences? I am not sure where I was going with this so I will just go and have a beer now?

* Patent pending.

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