Thursday, March 23, 2006
SAAS Bulletin #2. You may recall that a while ago, I established the Subeditorial Antics Appreciation Society. Well, I have what I describe on job application letters as "an eye for detail", which is why I noticed last night that something was up with the TV guide in the Melbourne Weekly. I don't get this real estate catalogue, as it only goes to swish south-eastern suburbs, but I was over at my parents' house. Anyway. For example, if you want to watch Channel 9 today, you can catch:
Other Commonwealth Games events listed in this TV guide are:
Dungeons and Dragons
Women's hop scotch
Men's Kerplunk final
Rounders
Open kiss chasey
Red Rover
On Sunday there is a program on at 6:30 called "United By the Moment", which the TV guide describes as: "Highlights from the 2006 Commonwealth Games, which, in case you didn't know, were in Melbourne." And the closing ceremony later that night is described as: "Patronisingly hosted by Ray Martin, from the MCG. An exhibition of pride, unity, goodwill and extreme government spending to bring the 2006 Commonwealth Games to a close."
But it's not just the Commonwealth Games - the anonymous TV guide sub likes to comment on other programs, too!
The Biggest Loser: (Wed) "C'mon, Fiona isn't fat!" (Thurs) "No, really, Fiona is quite cute." (Fri) "Fiona's actually thinner than most Australian Idol contestants."
Medium: (Thurs) "Allison finds out a prisoner is not guilty of the crime for which he was punished. Meanwhile, her husband asks her to dream up next week's Tattslotto numbers?"
Home And Away (Fri): "Amanda and Josh face off in a violent showdown. Summer Bay unites in a final desperate bid to prevent Project 56 - bloody NIMBYs." (Tues): "In a desperate bid to escape arrest, Amanda tries to flee Summer Bay - as you would if you're trying to escape arrest in Summer Bay."
Movie: 2 Fast 2 Furious: (Fri) "A disgraced cop singlehandedly tries to bring down an illegal drag-racing ring operated in Miami by a totally anonymous cast."
Movie: Pocahontas (Sat): "The daughter of an Indian chief falls in love with an English soldier. Voices of Irene Bedard, Judy Kuhn, Mel Gibson, and the bloke who played Charles Emerson-Winchester III in M*A*S*H."
Movie: True Lies: (Sat) "Someone at Blockbuster needs to tell 10 they have already borrowed this flick 58 times!"
Parkinson (Sat): "Dawn French chats about her new film role and reveals her unorthodox method of scaring boys away from her teenage daughter. Hopefully, it doesn't involve nudity!"
Dancing With The Stars (Tues): "Seven finds another excuse to let Jennifer Hawkins strut about wearing next to nothing - Hmm, must set the video."
So today I called up Fairfax Community Network (formerly Text Media), with the aim of discovering the identity of the TV guide sub. When I asked to be put through to Melbourne Weekly's editorial department, preferably to production editor Tom Museth ("I have a quick question about the TV guide"), I was put on hold for ages only to be told that "everyone in Editorial is unavailable". Oh, how convenient. When I asked the receptionist for more information, she said the comedy sub-editing "has been going on for about a month". When I asked who was responsible for it, she said she'd "find out", and took down my number, which presumably she has filed in the large open-mouthed filing cabinet.
Other Commonwealth Games events listed in this TV guide are:
Dungeons and Dragons
Women's hop scotch
Men's Kerplunk final
Rounders
Open kiss chasey
Red Rover
On Sunday there is a program on at 6:30 called "United By the Moment", which the TV guide describes as: "Highlights from the 2006 Commonwealth Games, which, in case you didn't know, were in Melbourne." And the closing ceremony later that night is described as: "Patronisingly hosted by Ray Martin, from the MCG. An exhibition of pride, unity, goodwill and extreme government spending to bring the 2006 Commonwealth Games to a close."
But it's not just the Commonwealth Games - the anonymous TV guide sub likes to comment on other programs, too!
The Biggest Loser: (Wed) "C'mon, Fiona isn't fat!" (Thurs) "No, really, Fiona is quite cute." (Fri) "Fiona's actually thinner than most Australian Idol contestants."
Medium: (Thurs) "Allison finds out a prisoner is not guilty of the crime for which he was punished. Meanwhile, her husband asks her to dream up next week's Tattslotto numbers?"
Home And Away (Fri): "Amanda and Josh face off in a violent showdown. Summer Bay unites in a final desperate bid to prevent Project 56 - bloody NIMBYs." (Tues): "In a desperate bid to escape arrest, Amanda tries to flee Summer Bay - as you would if you're trying to escape arrest in Summer Bay."
Movie: 2 Fast 2 Furious: (Fri) "A disgraced cop singlehandedly tries to bring down an illegal drag-racing ring operated in Miami by a totally anonymous cast."
Movie: Pocahontas (Sat): "The daughter of an Indian chief falls in love with an English soldier. Voices of Irene Bedard, Judy Kuhn, Mel Gibson, and the bloke who played Charles Emerson-Winchester III in M*A*S*H."
Movie: True Lies: (Sat) "Someone at Blockbuster needs to tell 10 they have already borrowed this flick 58 times!"
Parkinson (Sat): "Dawn French chats about her new film role and reveals her unorthodox method of scaring boys away from her teenage daughter. Hopefully, it doesn't involve nudity!"
Dancing With The Stars (Tues): "Seven finds another excuse to let Jennifer Hawkins strut about wearing next to nothing - Hmm, must set the video."
So today I called up Fairfax Community Network (formerly Text Media), with the aim of discovering the identity of the TV guide sub. When I asked to be put through to Melbourne Weekly's editorial department, preferably to production editor Tom Museth ("I have a quick question about the TV guide"), I was put on hold for ages only to be told that "everyone in Editorial is unavailable". Oh, how convenient. When I asked the receptionist for more information, she said the comedy sub-editing "has been going on for about a month". When I asked who was responsible for it, she said she'd "find out", and took down my number, which presumably she has filed in the large open-mouthed filing cabinet.
