Friday, April 14, 2006

"Would You Wear A T-Shirt That Says", episode #13598. Plus, some sacrilegious Good Friday musings.

So today in the shower I was thinking about some religious topics, in honour of it being Good Friday. Then for lunch I ate a plate of eggs benedict on Rathdowne Street, in flagrant disregard of both the no-meat-on-Good-Friday tradition and the no-eating-breakfast-foods-for-lunch tradition. Here are my sacrilegious musings.

First, how embarrassed would you be if you were Jesus on the cross and you got a hard-on? There'd be no hiding it - not in that loincloth. And you couldn't try to conceal it with your hands, or by crossing your legs, because they were nailed to the cross. And you would be up there for all to see, including your mum. HOW EMBARRASSMENT.

Second, do you think that those Hasidic Jewish guys have to wear regulation underwear, or are they wearing some totally outrageous novelty boxers under there? If so, what would the boxers say? "My name is Asher Lev"? Suggestions welcome.

Third, I wonder if Scientologists ever have crises of faith and go, "Alien beings? Silent births? E-meters? Man, it's just fucking science fiction!" Also, what kind of really low psychological ebb would you have to be at in order to accept Scientology as a legitimate source of spiritual guidance?

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