Saturday, November 18, 2006

Wiggity-wiggity-wack. I am still feeling unhappy and ridiculous. Ms Fits was no help at all. I want very much to be taken seriously, but the trouble is that the things I am serious about are considered superficial by other people. For example, last week a boy in a band asked to read my thesis. I want him to read it so that he will realise I am capable of sustained, intelligent argument, but I can't help thinking that he only wants to read it to discover the extent of my ridiculousness. I have been trying to 'own' my tastes and my interests, but a lot of the time I dearly wish I was interested in some legitimately erudite field of enquiry, and not retarded bullshit that leaves me open to mockery.

But anyway. This is all by the by, because earlier I was thinking about the qualities in someone's hair that makes it look like a wig. I always think this is a really unfortunate quality in hair and one to be avoided at all costs. I am not putting down people who have to wear a wig for some reason or other; for some reason it is much more unfortunate to me if your actual hair looks like a wig.

Excessive Sheen

I always get suspicious of someone if their hair looks very shiny. Sometimes this can happen to natural hair with the use of conditioners and styling products, but combined with other 'wig indicators' below, it looks like nylon.

Excessive Volume

Wiggy hair looks all bulky and sticks out from the head in a way that looks instantly suspicious.

Coarse Texture

If the texture of the hair is too coarse and matted, it comes to resemble a bad wig - the sort that look like they've been shoved at the back of a wardrobe for 30 years.

Excessive Neatness

Wigs are extremely overstyled and look freshly cut. So I tend to get suspicious of excessively neat hair that doesn't move freely as the person walks.

Odd Colour

You can see that this is nowhere near her natural hair colour.

Suspicious Bulky Fringes

They have to hide the edges of the wig somehow. The best wigs have parts with individually sewn-in hairs that resemble real hair, but it's the bulky fringe that really screams "wig!" to me.

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