Monday, February 26, 2007

The funniest thing I've seen all year. You know, people who haven't seen me in a while still ask me when I'm doing another comedy show. I tell them that I don't have enough money to fund one, but the real reason is more that if you want to enjoy doing comedy, you have to put the effort into doing it all year round and befriending Melbourne's other comedians. And while I enjoy doing comedy, think I'm okay at it (at least as good as some people in Melbourne) and know some comedians to say hello to, the magazine has kind of taken over the creative space that being a comedian might otherwise occupy in my life. I still dearly want to do some Incredible Melk stuff with a live band, but one thing I've learned about myself is that I seize projects and won't let go until I've achieved what I want from them. I'm finding it hard to find people who are equally uncompromising and tenacious about something so deeply ridiculous as The Incredible Melk.

But anyway. On Sunday night Jeremy took me to a comedy night at the Spanish Club called The Oyster Club. It's hosted by Asher Treleaven, whose schtick was about odd books that he owns. I wasn't finding him particularly funny. But then he did this joke that was seriously the funniest thing I've seen all year. I actually MySpazz messaged him to tell him how funny it was.

To realise why I found it so funny, you must understand that Total Recall is one of my favourite films. The following clip is possibly my favourite moment in cinematic history.

In the joke, Asher set up a scenario where you are expecting a parcel delivered to your house. Then you answer the door and when the delivery guy asks for you, you say: "He is coming ... But when he arrives ... do not be afraid ... because he is ... a mutant..." And then he turned around so his back was to the audience, and he started twitching spasmodically and undoing his shirt, and me and Jeremy were already laughing because we knew where this was heading...

And then Asher turned around and he had this indescribably absurd picture of Kuato's head stuck on his stomach with stickytape, with a pink rubber glove stuck on either side of it like hands. Oh sweet Jesus, how I laughed! I am laughing right now just remembering it. I don't even remember how the joke ended because I was laughing so hard I was wiping tears from my eyes. We were quite visible from the stage because we were sitting up the front and off to one side near the stage door, on two chairs without a table. We must have looked so ridiculous sitting there like puddings, laughing uncontrollably and rolling around in our chairs.

Just when I thought I could laugh no more I looked at Jeremy, who looked like he was being shaken violently by an invisible person. He was laughing like a woman, this high-pitched cackle, and it set me off into further fits of laughter. My stomach was hurting, I was laughing so much. By this stage the joke was well and truly over and the house lights had come back on for the interval, and Asher actually walked past us on his way to the bar, and we were still laughing.

It is not an especially funny joke when you read it. But it worked for me.

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