Tuesday, September 30, 2008

This just in: Cat owners are considered to be nutsos. I was in the utterly disappointing and overpriced Salvos Family Store in the city earlier this afternoon and I noticed the following book was sitting out in front of all the other books.

I was curious about the kind of home craft projects that might be fun for cat owners, but the book turned out to be either a massive practical joke at the expense of people who like cats, or a completely nutty book that anthropomorphises cats and believes they give a damn what stoopid accessories their owners lovingly prepare. There were entire chapters about cat star signs, cat aromatherapy, ridiculously ornate cat beds you can make (and which they will probably ignore to sleep in a cardboard box or your laundry basket) and even cat massage. I didn't buy the book, but here are some pictures I snapped:

No, my cat will not "be grateful for my consideration". Cats don't care about privacy! The point of this litter box screen is purely so you don't have to look at a box full of fossilised cat turds, that is if the cat doesn't knock it over.

Again, if your cat doesn't wriggle out of this outfit it's probably because it's horribly tight. Rather than looking like "a cool dude", this cat looks like a Womble.

I just put this in because I approved of the pun "catlery". There was a whole chapter of recipes for various anthropomorphised dishes to feed your cat. My main problem with this is that I've known cats who inexplicably hate some fuds and like others - what if you've spent ages cooking up this cat feast and the cat won't eat it?

Clearly this cat is thrilled about being "all dressed up and ready to go". Go where? The couch? Your black dress laid out on your bed?

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