Wednesday, March 25, 2009
My PR dream. Last night I dreamed I was going to Supanova in a journalistic capacity. I have never been to one of these fan conventions so the dream was necessarily quite hazy and abstract and rather more than a little inspired by an academic conference, but anyway, I got there and when I went to get my press pass, I was shouted at by the horrible bitch who was running the publicity for the event.
Really rudely shouted at, along the lines of, "You can't just rock up and expect to get a pass, you had to apply through the correct channels!"
I was like, "But I got the email invitation and it said to come here and get my pass…" but that didn't seem to make any difference. Then she was on my case about how I hadn't filled out the form properly and didn't I know that I had to nominate which cosplay character I was, not just my name.
"Did you notice how nobody else's pass has just their name on it?" she sneered.
I felt absolutely traumatised and rage-filled by this encounter but eventually I left with my pass and went to sit in the audience at a 'session' of some kind. There I ran into some friends of mine who were all dressed up in cosplay outfits. I can't remember who they were now, but in the dream I was immensely relieved to see their friendly faces.
We were all sitting around waiting for whatever cast member of whatever cult sci-fi show to come out and speak, and the bitch publicist came to the mic, pointed directly at me and said, in front of everyone, "You have to leave. Would you please leave before I have to have you escorted from the building?"
I felt so humiliated and began to shuffle my way through the crowd, who were all curiously staring at me. But I decided not to show any kind of shame and instead began doing a loud, Broadway-style rendition of 'All My Loving' by the Beatles. I got to the end of the song just as I got to the door, then I gave a big wave and said, "Good night Australia!"
As I was walking out of the building, I got a text message from one of my friends who'd been there, telling me to come back because it was ridiculous for them to throw me out and if I lay low then nobody would notice me. So I went back inside, where some kind of cosplay disco was in progress, with everyone dancing in their ridiculous outfits.
I was trying to have fun without being noticed, and I was succeeding for a while but then the bitch publicist spotted me and shouted for security. That's when I knew what I had to do. From nowhere the triumphal opening chords of 'Thriller' sounded, and I began to do the 'Thriller' dance.
At first nobody realised what I was doing, but once they worked it out they cleared a big circle for me, and one by one they began to join in the dance in their cosplay outfits, glancing at me to check they were doing it right. We were a massive corps of comic-book and anime characters, and I was their Michael Jackson!
That's where the dream ended, with me thinking happily that no security guards could throw me out of this convention now – not with my evil army of undead cosplay nerds!
Really rudely shouted at, along the lines of, "You can't just rock up and expect to get a pass, you had to apply through the correct channels!"
I was like, "But I got the email invitation and it said to come here and get my pass…" but that didn't seem to make any difference. Then she was on my case about how I hadn't filled out the form properly and didn't I know that I had to nominate which cosplay character I was, not just my name.
"Did you notice how nobody else's pass has just their name on it?" she sneered.
I felt absolutely traumatised and rage-filled by this encounter but eventually I left with my pass and went to sit in the audience at a 'session' of some kind. There I ran into some friends of mine who were all dressed up in cosplay outfits. I can't remember who they were now, but in the dream I was immensely relieved to see their friendly faces.
We were all sitting around waiting for whatever cast member of whatever cult sci-fi show to come out and speak, and the bitch publicist came to the mic, pointed directly at me and said, in front of everyone, "You have to leave. Would you please leave before I have to have you escorted from the building?"
I felt so humiliated and began to shuffle my way through the crowd, who were all curiously staring at me. But I decided not to show any kind of shame and instead began doing a loud, Broadway-style rendition of 'All My Loving' by the Beatles. I got to the end of the song just as I got to the door, then I gave a big wave and said, "Good night Australia!"
As I was walking out of the building, I got a text message from one of my friends who'd been there, telling me to come back because it was ridiculous for them to throw me out and if I lay low then nobody would notice me. So I went back inside, where some kind of cosplay disco was in progress, with everyone dancing in their ridiculous outfits.
I was trying to have fun without being noticed, and I was succeeding for a while but then the bitch publicist spotted me and shouted for security. That's when I knew what I had to do. From nowhere the triumphal opening chords of 'Thriller' sounded, and I began to do the 'Thriller' dance.
At first nobody realised what I was doing, but once they worked it out they cleared a big circle for me, and one by one they began to join in the dance in their cosplay outfits, glancing at me to check they were doing it right. We were a massive corps of comic-book and anime characters, and I was their Michael Jackson!
That's where the dream ended, with me thinking happily that no security guards could throw me out of this convention now – not with my evil army of undead cosplay nerds!
