Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Insight into the terror of Crazy Cat Ladyness. Today I was in the shower, lustily singing my shampoo-inspired song 'Cocamide Mea, Cocamide Dea', which usually I sing to the tune of ABBA's 'Knowing Me, Knowing You'. But this time I decided to sing it to the tune of 'Mamma Mia'.

I am telling you this not only to contextualise what follows, but also to show that my predilection for making up stupid songs pre-dates my ownership of a cat. Indeed, just last night I was at my parents' place reminiscing about my grandparents, and I remembered that when I was maybe three, my grandfather and I had made up a song called 'The Church And The Whiskers'. I think it consisted of me squeaking those words while he bounced me on his knee.

So anyway, I had the song 'Mamma Mia' in my head and my thoughts were drifting away, as they do, and I began to sing the song using only the word 'miaow', as if I were a cat. So basically it sounded like, "Miaow-ma miowa, miaow my mow a miaw/Miaow miaow! Miaow-miaow-mi-miaow-miaoww-miaoww…"

Then I had a satisfying fantasy of a bunch of cats 'performing' the song in the same way they splice together barking dogs and miaowing cats to sing 'Jingle Bells' and 'White Christmas' and such. Like this.

Also, here is another satisfying song made with a cat's miaow. The animation never fails to make me laugh. I can't watch it right now, though, as it alarms Graham a great deal and I've been told it consterns other cats as well.

I make up stupid songs a lot. They are usually first person descriptions of whatever I am doing at that time. And usually highly mundane.

I have always sung songs to pets as well. Minnie would get a lot of renditions of Minnie the Moocher, amongst other things. I also used to sing to Tess, often about how stupid she was. She seemed to like it.
I suppose you know this site:


A few weeks ago I started singing a little tune I made up to Elizabeth (the cat). It was called "you're my best friend", and went something like this: "You're my best friend x 5". After a few seconds she looked at me in disgust, then jumped off the bed and stormed out.

So I think I'm on my way to crazy cat old man...
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