Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Unfortunate business names. I have never kept an official list of these, but from time to time a business name strikes me as really counterproductive for the sort of image the business is trying to project.

Now, it seems to me that businesses are very confused about the connotations of rustic words such as 'shack' and 'hut'. It's appropriate to pick up a drink from Shake Shack or a pizza from Pizza Hut, because convenience foods and drinks have traditionally been purveyed from ramshackle stalls.

However, the business that provoked this blog post was an establishment called Kitchen Shack. Why would you ever seek out a durable, well built kitchen from a building that isn't even durable or well built? Also, Sunglass Hut. Why would you shell out hundreds of dollars for eyewear from a dodgy-sounding 'hut'? You'd only spend $5 on such eyewear in a similar hut in Bali or Phuket.

Some of the worst offenders are women's body hair removal products. We all know (and chortle about) Nad's – to remove the hair from your nads – but how about Julienne? Jesus Christ, when I'm ripping hair from delicate areas of my body, I do not want to be reminded of finely sliced vegetables.

Other random inappropriately named brands: Nitsa hairdressers on Nicholson St North Carlton; Bambi Leathergoods on Swanston St Carlton; hawker-style Asian restaurant Norsiah's Kitchen; CBD Indian restaurant Funky Curry; Be Yourself makeup and fake fingernails.

Rumbles bakery in Richmond. Food poisoning connotations, anyone?
I collect these too.

No, I do not want a kebab from Funky Kebabs, a slice from Weird Pizza or who-knows-what from Crazy Joes. If Joe is so crazy, I'm not sure I want him in the kitchen deciding on appropriate food for me to eat.

I know there are more, I'm just too tired to remember them right now.
Panic Hair Bazaar.
I know I'm not the only one who's thought precisely this about the Athlete's Foot.
i have a problem with carrion luggage at the airport. i don't want to carry my stuff around in a rotting animal, with vultures shadowing my every step.
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