Thursday, June 12, 2014

Makeup, in sickness and in health. I am currently in the throes of a Melcold, which is just like a regular cold except it is the most dreadful, debilitating thing imaginable because it is happening specifically to me. In actual cold terms it is not that bad, I guess.

Anyway, I am not wearing any makeup today, but I am wearing lipstick. (Well, I just took it off with a tissue.) I've always marvelled at how you can wear no makeup except lipstick and still look 'made up', which is why I use lipstick as a pick-me-up when I am feeling rubbish and blah, and I always have heaps of them kicking around in the bottom of my bag.

As you know by now, I have a terrible, ham-like complexion. These days I have largely abandoned Hulk Primer for the Rimmel BB cream, which provides the coverage of a foundation plus SPF25. You need to blend it in quite well otherwise it can look streaky, but that is the price you pay for such excellent coverage. You can even layer it up over pimples etc and it works as a concealer.

Mere tinted moisturisers seem kind of hopeless to me now. But since a while ago I bought several bottles of Hamilton Everyday Face, which is SPF30+, and I tend to wear that in summer purely because of the sunscreen. One tube lives in my toiletry bag, which I only ever use when I'm travelling.

However, its major failing is that it is totally rubbish in terms of making my face look less hammy. Every time I go away with friends I think, "You don't need to bring any makeup or jewellery – this is a relaxed holiday and you don't need to impress your friends!" But then every single time I end up applying the Hamilton and feeling sad that my face looks just as hammy afterwards, and wishing I'd brought my BB cream instead.

Yesterday I was feeling ratshit, having probably brought my cold on by pulling an all-nighter after having just arrived home from a weekend away with a group that included two people with colds. Because I'd worked all night to meet my deadline, and then had to hustle straight out the door to make a 9:30am screening, my face looked even more awful than usual.

I had a long-awaited, much-needed haircut at 2pm but I couldn't stand the idea of having to look at my makeup-free face with wet hair plastered back under the bright salon lights. So I had about half an hour to kill beforehand, and I decided to spend it in Priceline applying makeup.

On the right side of my face I applied Nude by Nature BB 5-in-1 Miracle Cream. I've always avoided it because it has no sunscreen, but in terms of coverage it was not bad. I also tried Models Prefer CC Unbelievable Colour Correcting Cream on the worst bit of my cheek, which was okay but did not have the dramatic eraser effect I expected from something promising to colour-correct.

Then I went to the Rimmel concern and noticed they have a new matte formulation of my favourite BB cream, which I applied to the left side of my face. It didn't seem noticeably less shiny than the one I use, but since my skin goes greasy and shiny at the drop of a hat I might try it in future.

Because of my shininess problem I looked around for a powder to fix my makeup. The problem at Priceline is you can try the powders but they don't provide any brushes or puffs so you can't apply them properly. So I looked around for a product that had a brush in the packaging and saw the L'Oréal True Match mineral foundation.

Technically I suppose I was adding more foundation rather than just a light veil of powder, but I used the L'Oréal on my neck as well. It was so lovely to see the redness completely gone and a smooth mask of makeup there instead. However, this was much more makeup than I ever usually wear, and to me it looked really unnatural.

So I realised I had to add blusher! I never normally wear rouge because why add extra pinkness to my already hammy cheeks, but back I went to the Nude by Nature concern and got their Virgin Blush, which I applied to the apples of my cheeks using my fingers and blended it in. It actually looked good! I looked pretty and healthy.

Then I realised I should make my lips look pink and healthy too. So I put on some Nude by Nature lip gloss, and then with my finger I got some Rimmel Kate Moss Lasting Finish lipstick in shade 22 (a bright red) and dabbed it onto my lips with my finger, mixing it with the lip gloss to create a natural-looking reddish-pink colour.

Oh, and then I applied some beige eyeshadow by Nude by Nature to my eyelids and my haircut makeup was done! Here is what it looked like after being dripped on with water from the haircut.

So that was me using makeup to pretend to be healthy. But on the tram on the way home tonight I remembered that I used to craftily apply makeup when I was trying to convince my parents, work or school that I was sick (usually for the purpose of chucking a sickie).

I would use talcum powder to make my face look pale, and then I would accentuate the natural bags under my eyes using a combination of violet, grey and green eyeshadow. I would rim my eyes and nostrils in red lipstick and blend it in to suggest lots of coughing. But my real trick was to cover my lips in foundation. I have pale lips anyway, but this made them look deathly.

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