A Wild Young Under-Whimsy

Me eat you long time. It's probably a good thing I've never worked in advertising – or, depending on your perspective, a terrible thing – as I'm about to pitch you my amazing concept for Whiskas Oh So Fishy and Oh So Meaty…



Here they are. It is a mystery to me why Whiskas would give its cat food this absurd, fey name and never make any mention of it whatsoever in its advertising. It's always just "Whiskas". With that stupid purple cat.

By contrast, I just cannot open a can or sachet of the stuff without poncing about the kitchen saying, "Oh! So fishy! Oh! oh! Me so fishy! Oh! So fishy! Me eat you long time!"

I realise there's an ontological problem with both being the food and wanting to eat the food, but I am pretty much just shoehorning the concept into this song (it's the uncensored version, in case you are reading this at work):



I just find the idea of a Whiskas ad campaign based on 'Me So Horny' incredibly hilarious. You could get some cats and put them in huge gold chains and earrings, etc, and CGI them so they booty-danced. Or maybe the owners would do the dancing while the cats just ate the Whiskas.

There could even be a UGC element where people could create music videos starring their own cats doing the song, and then upload them to the Whiskas website. Ahahaha they could manipulate their cats' front paws in humorous ways!

"I'm a freak in heat/A cat who likes treaties/My appetite's for Whiskas/Cos me so meaty…"